How to win a woman's heart
by Misila
Summary: Atsushi can't understand, for the life of him, why Lucy hates him.


For Bungou Stray Dogs Rarepair Week 2017.

Day 3: Pick-up lines

* * *

 ** _How to win a woman's heart_**

.

 _My name is Nakajima Atsushi._

 _I was kicked out of my orphanage a few months ago. I wandered into Yokohama trying to get away from a man-eating tiger that turned out to be myself; upon learning this, I was tricked into joining the Armed Detective Agency, an organisation of gifted people that takes on criminals regular agents can't get rid of._

 _It is a dangerous job, but I like it; not only am I able to control my ability here thanks to the President's gift, but everyone is special and cares about each other, in their own way. It is like I suppose having a family must feel._

 _However, there are problems not even abilities can solve._

.

Atsushi hums at Dazai's words, not tearing his eyes off the window.

Dazai arches an eyebrow, follows the boy's gaze through the glass, down the street beneath. But there is no interest in Atsushi's expression; his gaze is fixed on an empty spot nobody else can see, chin leaning on his palm.

"Atsushi-kun," Dazai calls. Regardless of how soft his tone is, Atsushi flinches, straightens himself and almost spills his tea over the table. "Is everything alright?"

There has been a somewhat melancholic aura surrounding Atsushi since the director of his orphanage died; but to Dazai's surprise there is nothing like conflicting feelings concealed beneath his vigorous nod.

"I was just distracted, sorry," he apologises, taking a sip from his cup.

A dark eyebrow raises until it hides under brown locks. "Distracted by what?"

"Uh… Things." Atsushi shrugs, looking down to the drink. "What are we doing here, anyway?" It is obvious he is trying to divert Dazai's attention.

Which, logically, only ignites the man's curiosity.

"Hiding from Kunikida-kun, of course." Atsushi lets out a resigned sigh; he probably knows this won't end well, too. "But what about you?"

Atsushi's gaze flits around the bar, uneasiness shining clear in his eyes.

"I would rather go to a different–– wait, why are we hiding from Kunikida-san _here_? This is the first place he'll look for us in."

It's Dazai who shrugs this time, trying to come up with an excuse to hide that he just didn't feel like making finding him too hard for his partner. But before he can think of any intelligent reply a figure walks out of the kitchen, approaches their table quickly to set their respective sweets on it.

The girl from the Guild puts Dazai's plate down with exquisite delicacy, slams Atsushi's against the wooden surface with such force it's a miracle it doesn't break.

Even Dazai cringes at the sudden noise, coffee swaying dangerously in the cup he holds in his hand.

"Lucy," Atsushi calls, but the girl is already turning around. "Can you wait a second––"

"No," she only growls before storming back into the kitchen.

Dazai sips at his coffee in silence, hiding an amused smirk behind his cup.

.

 _The problem is Lucy._

 _I don't think she hates me, but she doesn't seem to like me either. She saved my life twice and hasn't poisoned me yet, despite being in charge of serving my food at the bar, but ever since she helped me escape the Moby Dick I can barely have a conversation with her._

 _I already apologised to her, but since it might not be enough I thought of giving her something in compensation._

 _But she refuses to speak to me more than strictly necessary._

.

Atsushi looks miserable when Kunikida drags both him and Dazai back to the office, but Tanizaki is aware the reason isn't having to work.

He knows about the foreign girl that works at the bar, all bite and sharp replies. Not only because Atsushi told him himself, but because he has eyes and ears; the difference between how she treats his co-worker and how she treats everyone else is almost painful.

It is starting to be a problem.

"What should I do?" Atsushi whines quietly, face leaning on his desk. Kunikida is forcefully retrieving Dazai from the sofa, where he has dropped himself upon crossing the entrance. "I thought we were alright now…" He raises his head, a plea clear in his eyes.

"I don't… really know," Tanizaki admits, smiling sheepishly. "I have no idea about girls outside Naomi."

"I can take care of her, if she bothers you," Kyouka offers as she stands from her seat, hand reaching for her blade.

Atsushi swallows down. "Please, don't."

.

 _The problem is most likely me. Lucy treats everyone else well; she even seems to be warming up to Kyouka-chan lately… But why doesn't she want me close?_

.

Tanizaki, Atsushi and Kyouka seem to be about to merge into a single mind when Kunikida finally reaches the office, Dazai dragging his feet behind him as he complains about his partner's lack of understanding, arms childishly crossed over his chest.

"Everything would be easier if you stopped ditching work," Kunikida replies. "What are you doing?" he asks the three teenagers, truly curious.

"Atsushi-kun wants to get Lucy-san to like him," Tanizaki explains.

Immediately Atsushi's face turns beet red. "Don't make it sound like––"

"Oh, trouble with women?" Dazai's smile as he walks up next to Kunikida is nothing short of dangerous. "I guess I can help, then."

"Can you?" Kunikida can't help but ask, blond eyebrows raised in incredulity.

"Of course." Dazai twirls a lock of brown hair between his index and thumb, straightens up his back proudly. "Now I have to live up to the Agency's standards, but back in my days in the Port Mafia women were crazy for me, you see."

Atsushi's mouth falls open. "Really?"

"He's making it up," Kunikida grumbles, holding Dazai's gaze when his partner's eyes focus on his, mischievous. "What was your secret to sleep with so many people, then?"

The briefest displeased expression crosses Dazai's features at the idea; it nearly makes Kunikida's lips curve into a knowing smile.

"For example," he starts before anyone else can notice, his raised hand curling into a fist before he extends his index finger, "ask her to commit suicide with you."

A collective sigh fills the office.

"This is serious, Dazai-san," Atsushi mumbles, gaze sliding down in defeat.

"So you actually like her?" Kyouka's question is all it takes for Atsushi's cheeks to ignite again, the poor boy a mess of unfinished sentences and a badly concealed truth.

"Why don't you give her flowers?" Five pair of eyes turn towards Kenji, who is watching one of his plants with tangible affection, not even remotely ashamed of eavesdropping the conversation. "Everyone likes flowers, right?"

"That's actually a good idea," Tanizaki agrees, impressed.

Dazai huffs. "You have to be careful with that," he warns. "What if the ones you give her mean something inappropriate?"

"Meaning?" Kenji repeats, momentarily lost. "They are beautiful, what can be more important than that?"

"I suggest orange lilies."

"Kyouka-chan––"

"I'd research about it beforehand; she is a foreigner, so she could misinterpret the message."

Atsushi's gaze hops between his colleagues at their suggestions, focused and hopeful but mostly confused. Judging by the frown between his eyebrows, none of the ideas his friends give seems enough or appropriate.

"Listen, Atsushi," Kunikida finally speaks up, "ignore these idiots. Just talk to her."

Atsushi sighs. "That's easy to say."

"If not double suicide, you could ask her to assist your own––"

"Dazai, shut up."

.

 _In the end Kunikida-san's advice is the best one._

 _Not very practical, but I'm sure I'll be able to find a moment to talk to Lucy when she can't run away like she always does._

 _Well, unless she decides to hide in Anne's room._

 _I hope she doesn't._

.

Atsushi waits at the entrance of the Agency building until the bar closes down, waves at Lucy when she walks outside the building.

He swallows down under her glare.

"What do you want?" she snaps.

"I…" He swallows down. "Can I accompany you home?"

Such a reply must take Lucy aback, because her reply comes out a few seconds later with a confused frown. "That sounds so creepy."

"Oh… Sorry." Atsushi bites down his lower lip. "I didn't mean…"

"If you were anyone else I'd be already hiding in Anne's room," Lucy adds. "I'd have a problem if a softie like you could intimidate me at all, though."

Atsushi breathes out a sigh, not knowing whether he should be relieved or offended the girl doesn't consider him threatening enough.

"Then…"

Lucy scrunches her face up. "I guess I don't mind too much."

Atsushi prays his utter joy at being given a chance isn't too obvious in his expression; as he walks down the streets next to her, he tries to make up his mind and choose the words carefully.

"Um… Lucy…"

"What?"

"Is there any reason you're angry with me?"

Lucy looks at him, green eyes wide under her red fringe. "Angry? I'm not angry."

Atsushi frowns.

"Then why do you avoid me?" _And glare at me, and pretend I don't exist at times_.

The girl lowers her gaze, head hanging low; Atsushi catches the subtlest blush on her cheeks, though.

"You're just too kind," Lucy admits quietly, lacing her hands together. "When you didn't come for me I assumed you didn't care, so disliking you was easier…" She sighs. "But then it turned out you actually cared, and I… I'm not that used to it, I guess."

The street is silent, not even cars driving along the avenue. Atsushi hears many unspoken things in the quietude, though.

"But it's not bad, is it?"

Lucy exhales slowly.

"No. That's the problem."

Atsushi bites his lower lip. He hasn't known Lucy for long; but he understands her troubles better than he should, for many of his own come from the same place.

"It doesn't have to be a problem. I'd actually rather it weren't."

Lucy doesn't speak until they reach their home, and neither does Atsushi, not knowing what to add to his words anyway. But after reaching into her pocket for her keys the girl raises her gaze, a small smile on her face.

"I can try."

.

 _I have no idea how this will turn out, or whether Lucy will take this conversation into account tomorrow; I know better than anyone else that she won't just be over everything with just a conversation. But talking to her is already a big step._

 _Lucy is truly lovely when she isn't angry or defensive… More than when she is, that's it._

 _I wonder where everyone got the idea that I like Lucy from, though._

* * *

Aaand that's all. What do you think about it?


End file.
